A Crazy Day In A Crazy Month

So this has been a crazy month in a crazy year…I am down to counting crazy weeks and crazy days. I find out I am moving out of the Mouse House on a Friday…and am gone by Tuesday. It has been nothing but hassle ever since. The Boy ended up in hospital with a severe allergic reaction and a bad asthma attack, a couple of days after we moved. Turned out he was allergic to the new paint and carpet in the new apartment. I am not well, the disease hurting me…I moved everything…unpacked to make sure there were no mice traveling with us, and then felt like collapsing. Can’t do that because the poor kid had to go to hospital, then I had to fix the insurance because we had moved, and then to the doctors. He is now mostly better. We had no net for a while, using only our hotspots, but that is now fixed too. It has not been an easy move. The apartment is nice, with no mice, but to be frank, I wish I had stayed put where I was.

Then there were issues with my ex….and then last night, the piece de resistance…a crazy Karen knocks on my door, accuses me of parking blocking her in (I have no car) and then shouts about a Tesla I do not own and don’t know who owns. I have no visitors. I have no one who sees me. I don’t know anything about a car, any car. No car is anything to do with me. We take the damn bus. When this doesn’t get her the right to scream more, and yes, she was absolutely screaming at me…she falsely accuses me of stealing her fucking Amazon package. I didn’t do that either. I ask her politely to stop harrassing me and close the damn door on her. She then wails from the other side of the door, that I closed the door on her.

Its too much. Far too much. I am desperately unhappy, I am beyond stressed, I am not well and I need the world to leave me the heck alone. It is too much stress and distress.

When my Amazon stuff goes missing, I call Amazon. If I had a car and there were issues, I would call the cops, instead of accusing some random new person in the apartment block of having a car they do not have. It is far too much.

So…here we are. What now? I wish I was back in the Mouse House with the bad area and the neighbors who never bothered me at all. I wish I was back in an area that no one harassed me. The fact of the matter is that privileged people feel privileged to cause distress to others. I really need quiet and I am not getting it. It might be ‘nice’ here, but people act in a way which is stuck up and unpleasant. Give me downtown any day rather than this shit. The more some people have the nastier they are.

Right…I wonder what today will bring? How can I tell the world to get lost, leave me be, stop even contacting me. I am happy being alone with no problems. I read my books, I write, I be a mother, and I drink tea. Sometimes I even watch a movie and listen to music. I am in constant pain. I am not well, and coping with an uncurable illness that will eventually kill me. All I am asking is to be left quietly. I am here for my friends. I am here for my son, but that is all I can do. I need people not to run my foot over with their shopping carts, to not make me dance round them in the street, to sometimes get out of my way. I need crazy Karens to not knock on my door accusing me of stuff I have not done. It is all in the eyes, that crazy….all in the eyes…

I am not a natural hermit – I love people. I am friendly and caring. I just can’t cope with the hostility. I really can’t.

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