grayscale photo of tree on a snow covered field

In The Cold Light Of day

In the cold light of day, after being attacked, threatened and roughed up when I was just trying to get into my own home, I have calmed down slightly.

Staying with The Boy is the only thing that matters. I have to get through this and try and tolerate a situation which should not be occurring. I do not know the criminally insane piece of shit that decided I was a good target. I have never had any interaction with them before.

Nobody should be criminalized for being homeless. However, people do need to be put either in long term psych ward or jail for being violent, threatening, (threats such as “I am going to get my friend to rape you” are totally unacceptable for instance.), racist (this caucasian individual was saying incredibly racist things to passers by) and for jabbing objects in people’s faces, and putting hands on them.

I am ok. More shaken than really hurt. To be frank I have no idea what to do, but when my son put his arms around me, squished me and begged me to hold on and stay, I have no choice but to feel slightly shamefaced and do just that.

You see I love my little apartment. I love my life with my son. I desperately need no adult man I am not related to (i.e. no one apart from my child) to be anywhere near me. Having some man not only near me, but grabbing onto me was beyond traumatic for me. I mind my own business, there is nothing more I can do.

In the cold light of day I realize this is not going to happen. I have had two days of my ‘husband’ calling me up drunk as a skunk, being attacked, men threatening me in various ways, even having to delete my anonymous twitter because…yup men.

Men have a problem. Not all men, but fucking hell am I tired of saying ‘not all men’. From now on anyone who knows me should take this gift wrapped ‘not all men’ and take it as a universal, forever kind of statement. I have said it ‘permanently’, so please just take it, and accept it is implied in all future times I say ‘men’ as a sweeping universal statement. Men have a problem with violence. They commit over 80 percent of violent crime. Men who are good, need to hold men who are violent and sexually predatory to account. There needs to be consequences. No more nudge nudge wink wink have a fight on a Friday night. We need to stop idolizing violence as a society, or rather men need to stop because women have had enough. I have had enough.

So here is my plea to you: If you are a man, please tell a shitty, violent, sexually predatory, misogynistic fellow male today that it is not ok. That you will not tolerate it. That men as a group are trying to police their fucked up factions. Of course, the violent man will probably hit you, so perhaps do it over the phone. But please do it. Some woman’s life could depend on it.

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