I look in the mirror
But don't recognize her.
I feed her cold comfort
But still cannot prise her
Out of the hole
She dives deep into
And plunges her
Everything into
Not being
Candy-sweet to you.
She moves herself up
And she throws herself down
She looks back at me
Whilst she spins round
And round.
She is holy in her terror
She is trying to be better
But the waves overwhelm her
And I still cannot
Save her.
Her hands used to be
Magnets for people and rings
She used to write songs:
She threw down
Aces and Kings.
She was wild and
She was crazy
She was free and
Never once said
Perhaps, later or maybe
But instead jumped
Right into the
Yielding soft
Center of things.
I would say that I miss her
And send princesses to kiss her
I would tell her to breathe
And for once stay
And not leave.
I would throw her a flower
And cast her a line
I would give her a gift
Of the sandglass of time
I would move heaven and earth
Just to go back to her birth
And smother the breath
Out of the unrepentant
Mess that
Stares back at me.
I suspect that sometimes when we look into the mirror what we see is more like a funhouse mirror…one that distorts the life we’ve live…with only fragments of truth revealed.
I sometimes suspect that when we look into the mirror…what we see is like a funhouse mirror…one that distorts the life we’ve lived…revealing only fragments of truth.
Look in the mirror and see someone you can’t save. Who is you, naturally. Do you think you need more than you to save yourself or is the situation simply impossible? Maybe it’s not something more but simply additional things. More strength, more resources, even more safety. Where you are now seems better than where you were, though it’s hardly optimal, not yet. Now while I’m saying all this high-fallutin’ stuff, I’d like to say something about the verse as verse. Do you ever sing your work? This certainly comes across as a song. I kept imagining your work that way as I was reading.
I used to write songs, I don’t anymore, but still play the guitar for my own enjoyment. I really don’t know what could absolutely fix the situation. I know I need to stay here, for my child to have a safe life here. I know what needs to happen for it all to be safer, but all of that seems utterly impossible. I am very grateful for where I am, but don’t see how I can keep it going, or help my son into a normal adult life. I suppose recent events have left me feeling very compromised and reduced and having to be someone I am not. I feel less ‘me’ and I don’t cope very well with that.
Ill perhaps repost some links to my music/songs on here sometime… Hope you are well, as always, D
I suspect that sometimes when we look into the mirror what we see is more like a funhouse mirror…one that distorts the life we’ve live…with only fragments of truth revealed.
I would be willing to accept that for others…not so much for myself. But really thank you, as ever, for being kind. I consider you a friend.
I sometimes suspect that when we look into the mirror…what we see is like a funhouse mirror…one that distorts the life we’ve lived…revealing only fragments of truth.
Look in the mirror and see someone you can’t save. Who is you, naturally. Do you think you need more than you to save yourself or is the situation simply impossible? Maybe it’s not something more but simply additional things. More strength, more resources, even more safety. Where you are now seems better than where you were, though it’s hardly optimal, not yet. Now while I’m saying all this high-fallutin’ stuff, I’d like to say something about the verse as verse. Do you ever sing your work? This certainly comes across as a song. I kept imagining your work that way as I was reading.
I used to write songs, I don’t anymore, but still play the guitar for my own enjoyment. I really don’t know what could absolutely fix the situation. I know I need to stay here, for my child to have a safe life here. I know what needs to happen for it all to be safer, but all of that seems utterly impossible. I am very grateful for where I am, but don’t see how I can keep it going, or help my son into a normal adult life. I suppose recent events have left me feeling very compromised and reduced and having to be someone I am not. I feel less ‘me’ and I don’t cope very well with that.
Ill perhaps repost some links to my music/songs on here sometime… Hope you are well, as always, D