I look in the mirror But don't recognize her. I feed her cold comfort But still cannot prise her Out of the hole She dives deep into And plunges her Everything into Not being Candy-sweet to you. She moves herself up And she throws herself down She looks back at me Whilst she spins round And round. She is holy in her terror She is trying to be better But the waves overwhelm her And I still cannot Save her. Her hands used to be Magnets for people and rings She used to write songs: She threw down Aces and Kings. She was wild and She was crazy She was free and Never once said Perhaps, later or maybe But instead jumped Right into the Yielding soft Center of things. I would say that I miss her And send princesses to kiss her I would tell her to breathe And for once stay And not leave. I would throw her a flower And cast her a line I would give her a gift Of the sandglass of time I would move heaven and earth Just to go back to her birth And smother the breath Out of the unrepentant Mess that Stares back at me.
I suspect that sometimes when we look into the mirror what we see is more like a funhouse mirror…one that distorts the life we’ve live…with only fragments of truth revealed.
I would be willing to accept that for others…not so much for myself. But really thank you, as ever, for being kind. I consider you a friend.
I sometimes suspect that when we look into the mirror…what we see is like a funhouse mirror…one that distorts the life we’ve lived…revealing only fragments of truth.
Look in the mirror and see someone you can’t save. Who is you, naturally. Do you think you need more than you to save yourself or is the situation simply impossible? Maybe it’s not something more but simply additional things. More strength, more resources, even more safety. Where you are now seems better than where you were, though it’s hardly optimal, not yet. Now while I’m saying all this high-fallutin’ stuff, I’d like to say something about the verse as verse. Do you ever sing your work? This certainly comes across as a song. I kept imagining your work that way as I was reading.
I used to write songs, I don’t anymore, but still play the guitar for my own enjoyment. I really don’t know what could absolutely fix the situation. I know I need to stay here, for my child to have a safe life here. I know what needs to happen for it all to be safer, but all of that seems utterly impossible. I am very grateful for where I am, but don’t see how I can keep it going, or help my son into a normal adult life. I suppose recent events have left me feeling very compromised and reduced and having to be someone I am not. I feel less ‘me’ and I don’t cope very well with that.
Ill perhaps repost some links to my music/songs on here sometime… Hope you are well, as always, D