All the fun things happen on twitter when I deactivate my account and disappear from its grotesque and barbaric shores. Apparently, a nurse who had the ability to prescribe viagra tweeted that conservative white men will have to ‘ask God’ for the power for their penises to rise, and not her, after their destruction of abortion laws that protected women. It was a beautiful succinct fight back phrase. She resigned from her position and published a neat and legally soothing retraction. I don’t blame her. No one needs that kind of heat. However, the fact remains, she was right.
The outrage from men at a women with a tiny bit of power suggesting she will not prescribe penis pills to men who do not support abortion, and will not add to the suffering of women by allowing conservative, contraception and abortion banning dicks to be potent, was immense and immediate. It took away this woman’s job, and threatened her safety. It was met with an immediate fight back. Men will not be denied, and this is the entirety of the problem.
It is reasonable for a women to say ‘no artificial erection if you are against abortion’, but men and their handmaidens will always support men’s right to fuck whoever, whenever, and however they want to. Penises are weapons used against women, and an abusive man now knows he can get a woman pregnant, and she cannot abort, thus trapping her and tying her to him forever. His abuse can continue, aided by the courts, enabled by society and thus ruining her life.
I have personally had one abortion, and it was when I was a young woman, before I had my children. I had become pregnant through sex work, was addicted and desperately needed out of the situation to save my own life. It was not without conflict and was wildly mismanaged by the nurse who told me that my baby would be born with horrendous birth defects due to my addiction, when the reality is that heroin does not cause birth defects at all. She lied to me, practicing some off the cuff eugenics. One less junkie breeding. It was not her choice to influence me wrongly in that way. I was told should I go ahead I would not be allowed to keep the baby due to my addiction, and that it would definitely be removed at birth. The idea of this removal of a new born after months of carrying and nurturing that child is more unbearable than abortion. Abortion is not a fully formed child, it is a collection of cells, a parasite. To break that bond between mother and new born is beyond painful. My own newborn was taken away from me for over a day because she was very unwell and premature thanks to my husband’s abuse, and the hospital in Japan refused to help me get to the NICU. I was only able to get to her when I could walk after a brutal and messed up c section and no painkillers given to me at all afterwards. Those hours were pure pain. If I then had been forced to not ever see her, to give her up entirely, the pain would have been unsurvivable.
Children need their mothers…and mothers need their children. We traumatize both when we separate that unit. I was deeply wounded by not having my mother, the one that belonged to me. The mother I got never bonded with me, never loved me, never cared about me, and resented the fact I was not biologically hers. She was hobbled by the fact that I was not her baby, in a very animalistic way. When she did have her own baby, she doted on the girl, discarding me like a used tissue. “The trouble with adoption, you see,” she would say to me, “is that you can’t odds genetics. You can end up with a right old weirdo. You can end up lumbered.” Of course I was the encumbrance being berated for existing. Adoption is not the answer. it is sometimes akin to human trafficking. Yes, sometimes it works, there are lovely adoptive mothers and happy adopted children that could not stay with their birth mother, but there is always loss, always sadness, always destruction.
Yet men lose a woman her job because she declares ‘no abortion, threaten contraception, and I am not going to help you get an erection!” She is a warrior. A battle sister. A Boudicca. She is a true feminist and a (s)Hero. Men protect their right to fuck, to impregnate, to rape (Only 2 in a thousand rapes end in conviction and incarceration for the man). Men protect their penis pills and attack women, yet again. We have threatened women’s rights to life, to autonomy over their bodies, to control over their reproductive lives and still a woman is forced out of her job for saying ‘enough!’ This is not right. We need to rally around her and tell her that she is supported and loved. I don’t even dare mention her name, because of her retraction I don’t wish to get her in more trouble or cause her more stress. However, if you are reading this, feminist nurse, I would always have your back.
Enough! Outlaw viagra until we have abortions and unassailable rights to contraception. No more help to get hard for men until men give women back their autonomy. No more holding women hostage to their fake sky fairy religion, imposing their Christianity on the USA when this country was formed on the right to religious freedom…and the right to not be religious at all. Here we are at the mercy of the evangelical and Catholic in a country that people fled to in order to have religious freedoms! The entire situation is insane. There are no freedoms without responsibilities. The Church and Jeebus needs to get out of women’s reproductive health.
Even Saudi Arabia allows abortion ” in cases of risk to a woman’s life, fetal impairment, or to protect her physical and mental health.” The Christian Taliban has turned the USA into a theocracy, when we were meant to be separating church and state, which IS anti-constitutional. The Talibangelical hoards are dismantling women’s rights in the name of their God, and it is not ok. Men have the right to an artificial erection, but women do not have the right to an abortion, and our rights to the contraception pill are at risk? Fuck you very very much, in the words of Lilly Allen, or rather, don’t.
Photos of white couples with creepy smiles on their faces, all blonde hair and Teutonic perfection holding up signs saying ‘we will adopt your baby’ strike the fear of their God into me. These are deeply troubling and racist people, who are going to treat the excess of children up for adoption as their own pool of kudos within their Church, with go fund me’s raising money for babies that will undoubtedly get given back up when they realize they cannot care for a child with a physical or mental disability. This has actually happened before with a (white) family bloggers, at the cost of a disabled Chinese-born boy. At the very least, black and brown children are going to grow up in families where they will not be given the care and love they need, detached from both culture and community. It is a sin, baby, and it is coming to America.
Why should the abortion pill be illegal when the little blue helper is given out like candy? This nurse should be reinstated immediately and given a medal. The world should be equal for women, but of course, it is not, and to be frank never will be unless more women stand by their outrage and don’t step back away from the fight, having been threatened and shamed. They can’t lock all of us up, they need some of us on the outside to fuck, impregnate and control. Bastards.
Since no one else has commented here, which is probably just that they’re still in shock, I will try.
My Afro-Carribbean wife who died last year [and who nursed for 5 years in New York], would have stood right behind this nurse, who, as you say, needs a medal, and another job. Canadians like myself, and especially of course Canadian women, are protected by our border, but we all know that the same anti-abortion anti-freedom mentality is alive and well here too.
I hope the anger that’s been generated here across America [I read this morning that 59% of Texans are pro-choice] shows up at the ballot box in November. It’s the only way this astonishing move to the right, controlled by a minority, is going to be stopped.
Your thoughts about adoption are haunting. I’ve known 4 people in my life who were adopted and each of them was haunted. But each of them was also above-average in intelligence. I wonder if Nature doesn’t compensate them that way. Or maybe it’s just the result of being outside the box from the start.
Re the Religious, I’m reminded of D H Lawrence’s comment that the Pilgrims didn’t come to America to escape from religious oppression, but to get away from religious freedom.
I am so very sorry to hear about your darling wife, Alan, but so very glad you had each other. My sincere and heartfelt condolences.
I try to be fair about adoption. I am clearly biased against it. To be frank, and please don’t take this as anything other than an observation, I think I would have been better off in a group home rather than raised by the cruel people who raised me. I’ll take the above average intelligence thing as a compliment.
I really appreciate your comments, as always. Sorry I am a grouch usually. Your pal, D
Hear, hear! Thank you for your thoughtful, deeply personal and candid commentary.
Thank you so much for reading and commenting. I hope if there are enough of us, and we are loud enough, then we can make real progress for women.
I’m so angry, but some of my women friends are even angrier, more inflamed than I’ve ever seen them. I sure hope this terrible SCOTUS travesty awakens a groundswell of opposition to Rethuglicans at the polls in November.
As a mother, a survivor and a woman, I am absolutely devastated, but we have to fight this. I really don’t know what to think any more. Keep on supporting!