There’s No Exit: Domestic Violence Is Gendered (Again, Trigger warning, DV) (Poetry On The Run)

Blondie's playing "No Exit"
In the background
I pull my hoodie up 
Like a shroud
Strap the baby
To my chest
Stuff a rucksack
Full of baby mess,
Brat is screaming
In harmonics
There might be
No way out
But I am going to
Find it.
Patch up face
Comb hair over
My bald patch
Ripped out
Disgrace
Can't let 'em see
I am breaking
Can't let 'em see
My heart is 
Aching.
Can't let 'em see
I'm trying to save us
If even if takes 
All of me.
All of me 
That he has left
To be
Saved for later
To tease my
Distress
And rip off
My cheap maternity 
Dress.

Baby is bright
Red in fury
At what he has
Done to us.
I don't have time 
To calm and gentle,
So I shove a boob
In it's face.
Metal in my 
Mouth;
My blood to taste.

To walk through 
Pain 
And broken body
To carry on walking
With burst
Stitches
Despite being
Unable
And needing
A medic and
A break from 
All of this
Requires
Some fury 
Of my own.

I kiss it's 
Tiny forehead
And put down 
The phone.

Blondie stops singing
The world keeps spinning
I walk out the door
Only to be
Forced by lawyers
And courts
Soon enough
Back again.
There is no exit
Just my male abuser,
My body,
And his desire
To hurt it. 

2 Comments

  1. Ellie Thompson

    My heart so honestly breaks for you. I wish there were some way out of all this for you. Detroit. I feel so sad in my inability to help or soothe. Sending love to you. Ellie x đź’—

    1. The Paltry Sum: Detroit Richards

      Hey Ellie. I am sitting safely as possible, no one hurt me for a while now, hidden away in my lovely city with my boy. There is no way out of the long term way he pursues me and refuses the divorce. Nor having to talk to him. Nor the Hague shit, but Just me and the Boy. We are happy, peaceful and hiding. It will never be totally over, but as long as he doesn’t find me, he wont hurt me again. Don’t feel sad. Feel angry. Shout it out to our sisters that abuse is a gendered thing. I just dont want other women to suffer like I did.

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