Once there was a day Beyond this war, And I asked you What are we doing? What are we struggling for? Fighting, wasting time, Barricading this door. Sleeping in fits and starts Amongst the detritus Of our shattered lives And broken hearts. Rocking on cracked Suspension at Fifty miles per hour, Spending days As though they were sand Through an egg timer. There were mystical trees, Flooded camps and scraped knees. Broken fingers, mouse traps Funhouses, coastal passes, Farms and boulders, Coyotes and owls Lakes and travel cup holders And others Who were not like you Or me. And I asked you in a Walmart Parking lot in Salinas If you would wait for me. You were still there when I exited with a stolen Gallon of water And a box of crackers That you had asked for. "What am I doing?" I said to the empty space That lay between me And the world As you hugged a man called Dale And prayed to lift his load. He didn't smell good And his feet were black He needed a bathtub Full of gin And someone to take care of him. All I had to wear was what I Stood in. I had nothing to give But an urge to give in. All I owned was the love that I bathed in. I want to go on forever I want to ride that 101 Even if there is no heaven Just green northern Treasure. All the way to the Point of life that Proved to exist After there were No more.....trees. I remember sitting In a cafe on the way To the airport: I never would have gone If I had known If I had known What would happen When I did run. I never would have gone. But I did go Selfishly tried to live Eating coconut paletas In August in Modesto, Trying to find a bathroom Where some of us could go I wished I could cross my legs And not need to. There is no hope No hope for us Or the others. Yet on we go. And the light on the Water at Friendship Landing Sparkled as my synapses Tripped blue And the feet on the sand Glowed a million shades Of glitter for me. Did they go for you? And the colors never Looked so drenched And the intense feelings Of love never felt so Immense. And the time we stopped And ate a pie On the beach as the dawn Drew down, the sea Lapping at my feet The laughter Shaking the storm Squeezing the lime Drinking it down Strange magick, Half crystalized Part tragic. Once there was a day, Before this war And I wore blue stockings And all the boys asked: "Hey...what is she fighting For?" And I told you I didn't like People, And you told me That was untrue As I wandered off To find another year Worth the fighting For. And you left to be The you that you Pretended not To be to me. Somewhere out there On the 101 there is A ghost of a smile In the window Of a truck Travelling forever North with the sea To the left And the cliff face to the right And someone Who once loved With all of her Might.
Photograph By Detroit Richards