closed french door with padlock and chain

The Luxury of Being Afraid

There is a certain luxury to being afraid:
To have the privilege of fear.
To let that metallic twang
Shiver through your bones
Like a National guitar
Resonating with the 
Vibration of self protection.
Flights of fancy
Fight for Survival
Butting airy heads
Against stark reality:
Fear doesn't allow
For such unnecessary
Battles - 
It is too busy being
Afraid for all
That 
Jazz.

Her blonde hair
Hangs sleekly
Dusting sharp
Collarbone
Rolling past
Expensive breasts.
She pays for 
Protection
Against
Rough sleepers.
Day dreamers
Night walkers
Straight talkers
Powder sniffers
Potion smokers
Protection from
All of those
Who do not live 
In her Marina
Wonderland.
She might allow 
Herself a small 
Shiver
When a tan skinned
Boy jogs past her window
Running.

She calls her attack dog
Ex cop
And says:
"It is suspicious,
That is all.
He is running
That is all
What is he running
Away from?"

But the boy is gone:
He was running
Back to me
Away from the
Violence
Of his father
The expectations
Of society
And towards
The ability 
To make a 
Better play
At third,
Heart health.
Aerobic fitness
...and away
From women
Who stand 
In windows
Wondering
Why he is 
Running.

Do not run
With my shopping,
I counsel him.
Do not run back
Home
No matter if
Your heart is skipping
Your bones 
Feel like jumping
No matter if 
You feel alive
Because I
Want you
Alive.
Always.

The luxury 
Of fear
Rejected.
Who can live
Thata way,
Spontaneity
Suspended?
No, it is bad
Knowledge
Like cigarettes
And Vodka
And Orange
A bauble
For the rich
And the perpetually
Privileged
By skin
Or birth
Or something 
Not earnt
Yet provided.

Every night
I lock my door
Luxuriously
Feeling able
To protect
Us from
Things
Outside
Less 
Stable.

Head shaved.
Fingers crossed.
Yes, windows
Closed!
Doors
Locked.

6 Comments

  1. Time Traveler of Life

    It was scary that even one person has to feel this way. We all have some fear, but there are among us those that have mortal fear, and it should be unnecessary, but is! I don’t see it changing anytime soon. I wish it could.

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