I grabbed the Boy’s arm and dragged him to the door. We were going to go out. We were going to go out and have fun if it killed me. I amuse myself sometimes. We had to walk up to pick up some things from an Amazon locker, just socks and a few white tees, so up we go, dodging the man screaming outside the methadone clinic. If I had caused shit like that outside the clinic in the days I was using, I would have been banned. We are too soft on people nowadays. If you want your shit behave yourself.
I don’t know how this happens, but my days seem to have themes. Today was the day of the strange men who are a bit shit really. I’m short and skinny, like really short. I’m short but not invisible. So there I am in Nijiya Market when this immensely tall man walks right over me. He was like an icebreaker ship to my little rowboat, he just walked forwards towards me, and didn’t stop. I shifted backwards, trying to dodge physical contact, but he kept moving forwards, separating me and my Boy. I started to panic as he kept pushing me further and further away, eventually stepping on me. A six foot stupid bulldozer in a beanie. Boy dashed past him knowing how I get scared and put his arm around me, glaring at this full grown man that towered over us. What the fuck is wrong with some men. What the fuck is wrong with them…
We shrug it off and head off to another shop to pick up a few things. The man who is dealing with customers by the door, letting people in and counting how many in the shop, refuses to talk to me. He doesn’t talk to women, apparently. Instead he mimes. He scowls, points and plays a game of charades. I ask him “do you want me to wait outside? Are there too many people in the shop?” He shakes his head and performs a more dramatic scowling performance.
I know this guy, I have heard him talk. He CAN talk. Now he is laughing at me. “What do you WANT!” I ask? He mimes and play acts like an irritating Perot clown in a Paris square trying to persuade people he is in a box, except this isn’t mindless wankery, this is passive aggressive fuckery.
I get the message. He wants me to use hand sanitizer. This is a new one. I tell him IN WORDS that I have my own, and he stares as I use it. He thinks he is hilarious. I don’t like being the butt of his jokes. I don’t enjoy being his entertainment. After being forced by him to turn in circles like a performing poodle for his kicks, the jerk made me cry.
Fuck him and his stupid hair and his stupid woman hating. Fuck him and his inadequacies. If he doesn’t want to use words to people then don’t put him on the damn door.
By this point I just want to go home. I just want to watch baseball, or write, or play my guitar. Alert after alert tells me of various slashings of women, attacks on women, beep beep another inadequate has taken his frustrations out on a female.
I decided I am going to get the most kick ass looking pittie as soon as I can, and the two of us are going to stalk the streets in matching studded leather collars growling at people we don’t like the smell of.
I’ve been out with my Bella and had people think she’s a wolf. I’m not correcting them. If they want to think she is a wolf and it keeps them waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay over there, she’s a wolf.
Awwww…Good Wolfy Bella, keep her mama safe!
She’s so funny to watch. When we go hiking, nothing better get too close to me. As long as whoever or what ever stays on the other side of the trail, she’s fine. Move too close and the growling begins. And nothing or nobody is coming in this yard.
What a good girl! You must feel so much safer with her around.
I do. I also know just how much damage she can do to a person. My son made the mistake in trying to separate her and Molly when they were fighting one day a while back. Bella accidentally tore his arm up. She acted guilty and sorry for weeks afterward. He more than likely needed stitches but wouldn’t go.
I know right? He thought they were going to hurt each other, instead they got him. And he had to go back to work with his arm tore up.
Boys are useless at going to the hospital! Poor thing! I am useless at separating dogs who are fighting…Im so jealous (in a nice way!) of you having Bella. I would love to feel safer!
It makes a big difference. Most people show a level of respect to big dogs, especially those which are even part shepherd as Bella is.
I’d get arrested. I’m 5 foot 10 inches tall and confrontational. Men usually sneer at me because they are intimidated by my height but they rarely try to run me over. If they did, I’d taze them in the balls.
😊 Unfortunately life has taught me that if you attack back they will try and kill me. It is too dangerous for me, though I am very impressed at your spirit. Im very jealous of your height! Amazonian!
If only I was like Amazonian Wonder Woman. 😁
Wouldn’t that be great! I like it…wonder woman suits you!
Aww thank you. ❤️ I’m sorry for the way those neanderthals treated you btw.
PLease be careful if you do hit back. It is a dangerous mindset to get into that it is safe to hit back – some men will take it and accept the message. Some men escalate = most men in my experience – and fight back. I really do not want you to get hurt, darling! If you can RUN, run.
I’m a tall white guy, however, I don’t let that get in the way of my humanity. Some guys are jerks, that is why I have my blog, to let these jerks know how to act. However, I assume too much – I assume they read.
The silent man I have met in other incarnations: My son-in-law is one, and I tell him time and time again, “use your words!” I have dealt with the silent man in other places and I offer him the same advice.
I’m sorry he made you cry.
To make it clear I dislike all men until they prove to me they are not about to kill me or hurt me. If you have read my stickied post “Marriage is Murder”, you know that I survived extreme physical and sexual abuse that occurred over years and I could not leave because I was in a country not my own, and the Hague Convention (international law) says you must not take your kids without your husbands permission. Being on the receiving end of extreme abuse is not a defence against the Hague. If men prove themselves to be safe and respectful I make an excellent friend, and I adore my son with all my heart.
Men kill women. Men abuse women. Men rape. Do I hate men? Mostly, yes and I refuse to apologize for it. I simply withdraw my interaction if I feel threatened or my boundaries not respected. I no longer date men – I am a lesbian.
These jerks are jerks because of the Patriarchy – because society says it is ok to behave that way, and they are entitled to that behavior.
I am glad that you don’t use your male-ness and your height to intimidate, and I am glad that you try and pull your fellow men on their behavior. That is good stuff. They read – they are all over on reddit and 4 chan and 8 chan in their little woman hating incel forums.
Silent guy insisted I watch his MIME, him play charades, while he forced me to play his game. He enjoyed – laughing as I tried to guess what he wanted before i entered the shop. He liked manipulating me, forcing me to spin foolishly around trying to work out what they FUCK he wanted. He is not in any way just quiet. He was violently silent and manipulative. All he had to say was “use handgel”. Instead it was a long interaction in which he got his kicks at my expense. Playing down his actions is enabling him. I am sorry I didn’t just tell him to fuck off and let myself be used.
You don’t need to be sorry, it wasn’t you.
I know it wasn’t me, but my heart goes out to you!