Strange incense and burnt offerings

In my evening phone call to the outer-limits, dialing into disaster somewhere on the road with my favorite death-partier and sometime partner in destruction, I got accused. I was accused, fairly or not, of pretending that I was better than him. That I was a fake, pretending that I’m not the trash that I clearly am, and will always be. That I was ‘better than I should be’. Of deserting the cause, the great escape(ism). That I was looking down on him, and had no right to.

So…from deep in the notebooks scrawled in brown ink because I thought it more stylish, in bloodsmeared pages dotted with the peel- off labels from rum bottles, I decided to own my previous debauchery from the time P.K. (pre kids), and drag out a couple of old druggie songs or poems, or whatever they think they might be at this point in time.

I’m no better than anyone else, and no one is better than me. I’m not wanting to cry on anybody’s shoulder about it. I still have my swagger. I’m not going to complain about my days trying to keep up with the boys in the bathrooms. I might even offer a sly raised eyebrow towards the junkie hero that is Mr. Richards, and call bullshit on his autobiographical insistence that he only ever muscled heroin, and never mainlined. Unicorns might exist, but a long term heroin addict with that level of control is the Beowulf of junkies. I’m happy to admit Keef might be just that.

I might not be proud of who I was. I might not be proud of the oxys and the morphine and whatever else came my way at later points, which I have also been free of for many years now. I’m not proud of The Poppy Pod Tea Saga. But I’m also not to chicken-shit to say, I did some hard travellin’, and I might even have had my own era where I romanticized junk. I don’t think there is an addict out there that hasn’t tipped their hat to Jim Carroll and yelled the words to “People that Died” while barreling down some highway or other.


The only thing that I know how to do

The only thing that I ask of you

Is to try and outrun our certain fate

Of loneliness promises

And Horse before my gate

And you know, we both chased the sun down

And you know we both chased that numb down

That double cross left scars on your chest

And those iron bar threats left scars in my head

And every day gets scarier yet

As we move closer to

As good as it gets

But you know we both chased that numb down

And you know we both chased the sundown.

Every day I look more of a wreck

And every minute you look sadder yet

And I wont get far with this broken head

And you won’t get far despite what you said

But we know we both chased that numb down

And we know we both chased that sundown

My resolved disappointments and your jagged tears

Your silent battles and my faded fears

Are nothing compared to this state of grace

Where we slide into the ditches

But yet nothing breaks

Cause you know we both chased that numb down

And you know we both chased that sundown

Not going to any great extremes was a bit of a joke

We travelled light years with just an ox and a yoke

And the dirt of gossip blows into my face

But its hard to pin down two travelers in space

Cause we only know how we chased that sun down

And we only know how we chased that numb down

And as we drew lots for that last pillar of salt

We kept our eyes pinned….

To it wasn’t our fault

The tower fell as I made my escape

Superheroes don’t always wear capes

But you know how I chased that numb down

And you know how I chased the sun down

You tried to rewrite history and

Claim I was wearing your clothes

And said you divided the doses on the road

Bad guys they have no respect

Night falls in the day

And pigs haven’t flown yet

But I know how you chase that numb down

And I know how you chase that dumb-down

To all you comfortable spoilt consumers

The end of the world isn’t much to look forwards to

But to all the riders on this road

It’s all we’ve got left out here in the cold

They don’t know how it feels to chase that sun down

Or wake up and pray for that numb to come back around.

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