Not my usual snappy title, but I guess this small aside, an offshoot of thinking about Khan’s assessment of the rape crisis, needed to be written.
So what do I think is the solution then? If I had the keys to smashing the patriarchy I would have handed them over immediately. We would be living in a rape free society, a feminist Eden. Unfortunately, I am just yer average Joanna who opted out of mainstream society, then when I tried to get back into it, got kicked out forever more. Sorry.
I can say this, I believe that female separatist communities are an option. Since men as a group refuse to stop killing us, raping us, inserting themselves into all female spaces and trying to erase the reality of Woman, making the word mean “and some men too” (No, transwomen are not women. They are transwomen and I would hope that they as a group are proud of that fact), then as a soldier with more than a few battle wounds and scars, lost friends, and battles behind me, I would suggest that those in the ranks of Women who need to, fall back, withdraw, and take a safer position in the trenches, away from the front lines and enemy forces.
These trenches, these sanctuaries need to be free of any XY individual, segregated by sex, male children allowed with mothers, and safe areas provided for those who wish to not have contact even with male children. No visiting men allowed. No man’s land set up, a peace accord agreed, and past the barbed wire we can meet with the adult males we wish to have in our lives. Self governing, wholly by xx women, for xx women, membership of this sovereign state of Woman to only require that you are a woman, born a woman, and not currently trying to transition to male. Desisting f to m woman should be welcomed back with open arms and support. We will still have the problems humans everywhere have, and require some kind of co operative decision making system, I suggest using co-production values as a basis. What we won’t have is men, men killing women, men abusing women and children. We won’t have men raping. We will raise good men to send back to the world of Man, and change the course for society outside. Women should be free to come and go as they wish, just not bring men inside the camp. To do so, will mean exile. The state of Woman means business – it is not going to be a free for all, but a carefully guarded state. I suspect women outside will see how good life looks in the Free State of Woman, and want to join. The divorce rate would soar, and men be
That is the closest I have to a solution. It would be a solution I would happily inhabit once my son was grown and in a relationship, or young enough to stay with me – I am too damaged to take to the front lines of the feminist fight. I jump and shy away like a dog that has been hit often by it’s owner.
Not an enforced male controlled purdah, with a related man watching me to make sure I don’t escape, but a finger up to the patriarchy, an opting out. A safe space.
Incidentally, there are NO women’s shelters left which are solely for XX women. If you say you are female, in you go. That kept me trapped for a long time. In the end a shelter without shared facilities, but not specialized in domestic violence provided the solution…but still has been very difficult upon occasion because of the behavior of some men around me – notice NOT the women. Added to that, I have a lovely, very helpful male social worker, and the guys that work here are absolutely wonderful. I am kinda hoping that they adopt me as an elderly auntie.