I am not having the vaccine…it doesn’t mean I am not happy for you to have yours!

The vaccine is being pushed hard in SF. I am not interested in taking it. I don’t feel it has been tested enough, the Astra Zeneca has had issues bad enough in the UK for it to be banned for the under 30s, and the question marks over blood clotting issues remain. My health is already precarious – autoimmune disease that I inherited, I am having to test my blood sugar every day, due to the autoimmune as my gut doesn’t absorb sugar and leaves me dangerously low. On the plus side, I am slim, I have the opposite of diabetes, and I just don’t think I am in line for a really bad bout. I wear a KN95 everywhere I go, even to answer the door, I wear gloves out the house, and use sanitizer.

The kiddo doesn’t agree with me, and that is ok. I respect his opinion, but it doesn’t mean that I am having the vaccine. If he is offered it, when he is offered it, if he wants to take it, I will have to consider how much I want to give him that autonomy at the age he is. I will not encourage him to take it. I have had to turn it down. They will come to the shelter, you don’t have to leave your room, they are begging you to take it. I do not engage in risky behavior, and refused. The refusal was met with a polite attempt to persuade me otherwise by one person…and quiet agreement by another. I just don’t trust the vaccine, and I don’t think the risk is outweighed by benefits. It is not as effective against new strains for a start. This being the case, the benefit vs the risk for me, a person with epipen-worthy food allergies, is just not worth it. No I can’t ask a doctor – they are too expensive, I can’t afford a doctor, and to be frank, I don’t trust them either.

Doctors have never treated me with respect. As a beaten women I was treated as pathetic at best, blamed and asked why he did it at worst. I wonder if they tell a man beaten to within an inch of his life to CALM DOWN, as if that will help at all. As an ex junkie and ex sex worker, they were fucking inhumane, I don’t actually think medical professionals want to do anything other than hurt me and look down on me. Decent medical care is not for people like me. I have never had it, and I don’t think I will ever get it. I am more than suspicious of the lot of them.

If the vaccine stopped transmission, I would consider it my moral duty to vaccinate – but it doesn’t. If it was a sterilizing vaccine that meant you didn’t catch the disease, I might be swayed – it doesn’t, it reduces the severity of the disease. All I see is risk and not any benefit. Kiddo is too young to take it, so there isn’t that issue. Besides, to be frank I think we both had a mild dose of it last year. I had a cracking headache and my sense of taste went wacky – I could taste, but everything tasted of salt. Tea tasted of salt, yoghurt tasted of salt. Apples, oranges. Then for months everything I could smell, I tasted – I stopped using perfume and face cream as I could taste it by rubbing it on my skin. Something had gone a little wrong. The taste thing stopped, the bad headache passed. I had a mild runny nose, and that was that. The kid had congestion, nothing more. I think we got lucky.

I still have a uneasy feeling that this is just the opening act – that aliens are going to descend, having trained us to wear masks for their protection, and the really odd stuff will start happening in some War of the Worlds strangeness. Or else some kind of strange blood bourne virus will develop with zombies running the streets of the city. Something.

It is my choice for me and the kid, since us having the vaccine doesn’t help anything, and he is a slim ultra fit runner who is also not diabetic, I think the untested vaccine that has question marks over it, is riskier than the virus, at least to us. The only and best way we have of protecting others is masks, and I am happy to do that. OK, not happy, but resigned. So why all these calls for vaccine passes? I think some people get a kick from controlling others, from feeling superior in their decisions – this is NOT anyone I know. Everyone I know who is vaccinated has done so because in their estimation they are doing the right thing for them and their families, and I totally respect that. If they ever encourage me, it is just because it’s their belief if I get the disease I could die…and they like me and would rather I didn’t, as strange as that is! In fact I support it. We should all be free to make our own choices about what we put into our bodies, as we see fit.

Mother should I trust the Government? No fucking way, sonny!

2 thoughts on “I am not having the vaccine…it doesn’t mean I am not happy for you to have yours!

  1. Chip Drewry says:

    I’m not getting the vaccine either. It’s basically a flu shot with the added bonus of the possibility of dying a rather unpleasant early death. And like the flu shot, people still get the covid after the vaccination. I had covid a year ago and it is nothing like the fear mongering horror stories peddled by the media talking heads, the politicians with an agenda, or the so-called “experts” (Fauci) who haven’t practiced medicine in well over 30 years, but are damned good bureaucrats. Oh, and I especially love the people trying to tell me how full of it I am. The very same people who have never had it, are telling me who has, what it’s all about, and how wrong I am. Now I’m ranting. No. I’m not getting the vaccine. I have no interest.

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