I woke up early today, made the tea, went to meet with various people that I have to because I am in a shelter. It is not easy, not comfortable, but I do it as best I can. The demands on my attendance are not yet over, and I am flagging. I have not had enough tea, only a banana for breakfast, and I have to go and buy some milk and water. I don’t want to really go out there after the angel-dust-zombie tried to attack us, but we can’t just stay inside scared of our shadows.
I tell myself to put my mask on, go to the meeting and mmm and ahhh in the right places, go get the milk and water and come back.
Some days it isn’t that easy. Some days I get scared. Some days I wonder if today will be the day that a man will finally end me. It isn’t funny. It is not a matter of willpower nor letting go of the past. It is a matter of seeing how dangerous the world is and never being able to unsee it, not ever.